By Jeff Tigchelaar
1. Jana, in for a mammogram
So they give you these special shirts:
Post procedure they herd you
into this room where others in the same boat
I walk in say Oh how embarrassing
we’re all wearing the same top
to no response. The TV’s tuned
to daytime talk, nobody watching. I offer
to change the channel or turn it off.
No takers. A few seconds later: “Up next!
How one woman got the news that would
change her life forever: ‘I found out
I had breast cancer!’” Then someone
says Yeah no we’re shutting that off
and gets up and does the deed.
A minute later this same woman gets
her results. And they were
good. Very good.
They were perfect.
And she jumped, whooped, pumped her fists
said Praise Sweet Jesus and her boobs
popped right out of that special shirt
2. Can I take this it’s my wife
and she just got her results
just called me at work
to tell me about a five, something about
BI-RADS and a five score a biopsy a
but the first thing she said and the last
I could actually understand
was it’s bad