By Gwendolyn Soper

First I found the trapped fox and then we let it go
and I wrote a poem about that and then in my weekly
online writing group Pamela in Scotland says your fox
poem reminds me of Ted Hughes’ animal poems
and I think cool and then I read a poem in the LRB
written by Nick Laird about praying with his little boy
and I like it so much I order his book Go Giants and
I print up his bio admiring his amazing hair envious

that his hair’s thicker than mine and then my brother dies
and it’s the second worst day of my life and I need to think
I have to think the fox that gorgeous beast appeared
a few days earlier to guide him to an afterlife and I
keep thinking of metaphors about cages and freedom
from his schizophrenia and then my husband’s employer
sends me sympathy flowers from a company named
Foxglove see another fox and then

I solve a Wordle to subdue my traumatic responses
to my brother’s death and the word is SNARL
which is what I thought that trapped fox would have done
like a dog but didn’t but it is what I feel like doing
some of the time or bingeing shows or snacking or doing
nothing and then I see a book by Julian Barnes on top
of my stack of books at the top of the stairs so I start
to read it since I’d meant to for years because
I love his books and Ted Hughes

is mentioned in the first chapter now more Ted Hughes
so I figure it is high time I read more of his poetry but
his collected work is so thick it’s a brick on my shelf
instead I look up his work online and the first poem
is about a fox what
what’s with all these foxes and there’s a hyphen
in his title so I add one to mine because it needed one
I see that now and then I receive that book by Nick Laird
in the mail and he gives credit to Julian Barnes for a couple
of lines and then I receive an unexpected parcel

in the mail with Billy Collins’ new book Musical Tables
inside and in the front he quotes a line by
Nick Laird more Nick see these mystifying links between
Hughes Barnes Laird and Collins and then my friend
in Manhattan texts me a photo he took of a window display
full of stuffed toy foxes see more foxes but these are dressed
in plaid after Macy’s unveiled their windows for Christmas ’22

and then I see a new photo online of Billy Collins
giving a reading for his new book wearing a scarf with
illustrated foxes on it more Collins more foxes and
a few days later he mentioned on his poetry broadcast
that the Prairie Home Companion Christmas Show would be
playing that night so I tune in virtually and Garrison Keillor
welcomes everyone to The Fabulous Fox Theater more foxes

still plus the brass fox door knocker Ada Limón just posted
on Insta my God how many more fox sightings are there
going to be in my future it wasn’t my brother’s style
to pester me like this I have no answers and yet I thank
the gods for each and every reminder of that
living warm animal my husband and I let go which may
who knows be the thing that peacefully accompanied him

to some afterlife and now it’s 3AM where all this stuff is
swirling in my thoughts like pistachio-colored seed saucers
that I used to watch from a bridge caught in the local river’s eddy
on my early morning walks hoping to clear my head which
sometimes worked or didn’t and I just lie here thinking
about pistachio-green and how its complementary color
is a certain shade of purple and then I think of purple hearts

and how valiant my brother was see my brother and then
I recall the framed album cover I gave him of a vinyl record
we used to play The Valiant Little Tailor because Taylor is
our family name and I remember how he was his own kind
of sixty-three-year-old soldier rescuing his other
selves for decades from battlefields that were visible
to him but not to me no matter how hard I squinted.

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Gwendolyn Soper‘s poetry appears or is forthcoming in Subtropics, The Hopper, Nine Mile and elsewhere. Billy Collins long-listed one of her poems for the Fish Poetry Prize (2023). Currently, she coordinates hybrid poetry events for her local arts board, and is the founder of a poetry group with nearly 700 members. Soper lives with her husband on a small farm in rural Utah—a certified Monarch butterfly way-station they maintain. She also raises hens, alpacas, and mental health awareness.