That Good Night
By Gladys Haunton
A bucket list doesn’t interest me. The thought of marvels I will never see, adventures I will never have, brings me no more regret than would a hedgerow of wild plums with too much fruit to pick. Were you to tell me, though, on a sun-struck day in August, that I am picking plums for the last time, regret might drop me to my knees. I’ve reached an age where time pressures me to identify the acts that have satisfied me deeply, determine which are still possible for me, and then repeat those as often as possible. Folding beaten egg whites into thick batter. Pausing under an awning to shake rainwater from a half-furled umbrella. Walking down a flight of wide marble steps. Who could have guessed the value such moments would eventually take on?
What if I never watch a skein of geese cross the face of a full moon? Or smell goldenrod picked from a roadside ditch? I do what I can to defer such losses. On the coldest mornings, for instance, I alter my route to the coffee shop to increase my chance of seeing sun dogs where steam from the medical center rises through the morning light.
Other joys are gone for good. Brittle bones forbid that I ever again glide along the oval of a roller-skating rink, crossing ankle over ankle as I round the tight end curves to the rhythm of canned music. Nor will I dive again from a rocky crag into a lake. In cases like these, I work at acceptance
Read More