There’s no need to be unpleasant on a Sunday afternoon when we have all had such a nice time. He isn’t here to defend himself, and besides, he is a father, and besides, he is a man of the cloth.
We were all having such a nice time, but what you’re saying is very serious. He is a father, and besides, he is a man of the cloth. He has always been nice to me,
but what you’re saying is very serious which is why I am concerned you are mistaken. He has always been nice to me. It’s like you want to destroy his reputation
which is why I am concerned you are mistaken. You come out of the woodwork like you want to destroy his reputation when you never said anything before.
You come crawling out of the woodwork, and we are all supposed to believe you when you never said anything before. Do you know what everyone has been saying about you?
And we are all supposed to believe you? You never stop, which is why I am telling you now what everyone has been saying about you since you were seven years old.
You never stop, which is why I am telling you now that everyone has been walking on eggshells around you since you were seven years old which is why no one has called to apologize.
Everyone has been walking on eggshells around you. We know you will use our words against us which is why no one has called to apologize and besides, we did apologize, and besides,
we know you will use our words against us, you are never satisfied, and besides, we did apologize, and besides, what do you want us to apologize for?
You are never satisfied. I see you’re becoming emotional. What do you want me to apologize for? I have only ever loved you more than anyone has ever loved you.
I see you’re becoming emotional. I am not surprised. I have done nothing wrong, but I am not surprised. I have only ever loved you more than anyone has ever loved you. Some people see the worst in everyone.
I am not surprised. I have done nothing wrong, but I am not surprised. You have been like this since you were a child. Some people see the worst in everyone, but there is no need to be unpleasant on a Sunday afternoon.
Featured Art: “Flower of Love” by John Coey, Cardon Smith, Eric Cranston, and Tanner Ingle (Passion Works Studio)
I went downtown with Fatima sometimes that summer for her big-sistering—San Diego, windows down, the noise from her Mazda just ridiculous. The wind whipping. Fatima in her white sunglasses, laughing, dabbing tears with the back of her hand. Tucking her hair behind her ear. Slapping me on the leg. At Sixth Avenue she’d exit the freeway and park in the yellow zone on Ash Street where electric scooters would be leaning against the meters. My first trip, I thought we were lost—all that concrete, the wide streets. But through a chain-link fence I saw GATEWAY stenciled in fat purple letters on a renovated warehouse. Inside was one of those carpeted gyms with the basketball lines dyed into the fabric. A playdough-and- crafts room. Jump ropes hanging on the wall. Kids screaming and charging around. A tang in the air like old mayonnaise, and the temperature way too hot.
Fatima would sign in at the front desk and chat with the high school kid on duty. He’d squirm in his violet shirt with the Arch logo, self-conscious—not because Fatima was stunning but because she was for you and you felt it, even from the periphery, felt the love. And then Cici would astonish everybody by sneaking into the lobby and throwing her arms around us from behind. We’d be like she’d done magic. “Where’d you come from, girl?!” And she would hug Fatima so hard it was frightening. She was a hundred percent energy, twelve years old, short dark hair, Filipina. Sometimes the mom would be there—slipping away out the side door with an exhausted face. Sometimes not.
When you couldn’t hold your head up, we all sat at the black keys, your 6-pound frame swallowed by a nightgown. New to all this, how’d we know exactly which intervals would hum you back into sleep at 8, midnight, 5:25? Verses we’d shrieked or whispered as kids surfaced, out of nowhere. For our own sanity,
we grew our daily rituals: I love coffee, I love tea-eeeee, crooned into morning through bluetooth speakers until we had it memorized. Dance parties to shake off the electricity of worry or bliss, drowning out the refrain where you might really leave us. I fell again
for your foster Da then, how vast his inner library was, finding the song to make you stop crying. Your toothless grin was wide as your face when the trio of us swayed. Soon, you reached toward mouths, added rhythm at the Baldwin with an atonal foot, moan-humming along like
you knew, already, what breath and sound could do inside a body. I can believe in a God who thought up music, can sit down at a piano in an empty house and be saved by something again. I wonder what Japanese artists would say about our old grand, jagged cracks in its lid where a contractor had
a very bad day. Or about your story and ours, no doubt too much in this house and beyond it to lacquer completely with silver or gold.
but in this moment, from your ginger head dipped toward the song of the faucet to your pinked glossy landscape showing off its recent growth rings, what could I be but yours? “To bring up”—
that’s what fostering can mean. And it’s like this: a poem I knew by heart once, framed or carried in the wallets of priests and au pairs and waitresses dared “let the soft animal of your body / love what it loves.” It was written as a simple exercise, not as any lifeline—meant to show a friend how a breath can choose
to break open or rest at the end of a line. Just think what that means for any of us: our beginning can be what we need to keep swimming, or our bodies themselves can turn into dry land.
Tonight, the Pink Moon marks nine months of you + us, keeps us all awake with its bright tunnel of a face. On the couch, a last-ditch effort, you stretch your torso over mine, and I feel you soften, your snore against my neck, hand fluttering. It’s the closest we’ll get to any quickening, my feet cold without a blanket, the furnace on.
I’m ashamed to say it, but it’s taken me this long to pick a carcass clean with just my fingers for the first time, setting aside the good morsels for a soup bright with dill. Which one’s the dead thing, and which one the maker? And when is it again that a shell’s truly useless?
This one will be submerged, savory shipwreck in filtered water, with thick lemon wedges and rosemary. For the first day of a new decade, it will sit atop a burner, heat pulling and cajoling from its bareness the very medicine
I need. I’m no witch doctor, no pagan goddess wanting to read my
future, maybe even change it. My grief tastes of nothing, it’s been boiled for so long . . . But I’m ready now: give me fresh thyme, ginger, salt.
Selected as winner of the 2024 NORward Prize for Poetry by a panel of previous poetry contributors
After tucking in the kids, we tucked in the house— dishes, laundry, prepping the next day’s meals. When the hush finally settled, we’d get in bed read Endurance out loud to each other.
The ship became trapped in ice the night before his surgery. All that week I tried to get back from the hospital in time to kiss the boys but I failed. I sat on their beds, watched them sleep. The day we got the pathology report,
the men, running low on food, put down their dogs. Radiation all summer. The boys played soccer. The oncologist told him to join a gym, get a trainer, go hard because she was going off-label, tripling the usual dose.
They threw everything overboard, but the ship sank anyway. Anemia turned his skin yellow-gray. His body became smooth as a seal. I watched as he denied fatigue, struggled to untie his shoes, get up the stairs.
Shackleton split the crew, sought help: everyone survived. After we finished the book, we never opened it again. I wonder where it went. Years it sat on the bedside table under the clock: last thing we saw at night, first thing every morning.
Paula has some thoughts about what happened at the playground. There are spooky things with children, she says. Kids holding conversations with unseen ghosts, kids with memories of dead people’s lives, siblings with totally opposite versions of childhood memories. It’s theoretically possible in a multiverse scenario, Paula says, that a child could be in both one place and an infinite number of places at the same time, time itself moving simultaneously backward and forward.
I suggest that Paula write a paper on this. I picture her snickering, face illuminated by her phone’s glowing rectangle. The Phenomenology of Freaky Shit, she texts back. I smile.
Or was I just wasted? You. Were. Not.
That she wasn’t there, that she’s not a mother, is no impediment to Paula’s theorizing. But if she’s expert in anything, it’s the outer-bounds of my alcohol tolerance. She’s gotten drunk with me more times than anyone. Our college years were one long rumspringa from our repressive all-girls Catholic school days. Later we both got serious and left town for our doctorates—hers philosophy, mine history—but we kept up weekly phone dates to “wine and whine.” For years we worked as adjuncts in obscure towns, bitching to each other about the apathetic students and the bad take-out and how the drive to the closest airport would be as long as the flight back home. We got tenure-track positions around the same time. Paula’s still at hers, across the country in California. It’s hard to find the time to call now, but we have this text-chain going that, printed out, could bridge the distance.
Perhaps the last two or three of the type I remember— a tank for the water and ice, and a labyrinthine steel rack to hold the necks of the bottles, a cold flap that a nickel would unlock so you could pull out a bottle— haven’t been placed on prominent display in one of those sadly under-funded, just-off-the-highway, Butler-tin county museums, but, on their broken-down casters have been shoved and scraped over the floor to the back to be stored with a surplus of other heartfelt donations, none really rare, and none of much historical interest— the one-hill-at-a-time hand-operated corn planters, grease-stained lard presses and treadle sewing machines— the pop coolers’ heavy lids closed over stale summer air from the late Forties, their bottle openers still functional, cap receptacles hanging below, though containing no pop caps—no Oh-So Grape, Nehi Orange, Cream Soda— all of those caps pitched up onto the top of the bluff that casts a cool shadow over the Standard Oil station owned by my Grandfather Moser, who as a young man played ball for the township team, who is still throwing those bottle caps, one after another, from the oil-spotted cracked pavement in front of the station, showing off, showing his grandchildren his pitching arm, winding up, lifting a knee, then sailing a cap high into a lost world, partially sealed by the dried rubber strips in the cooler.
Featured Art: “White Deer” by Amy Nichols, Scott Brooks, and Wendy Minor Viny (Passion Works Studio)
But for the big empty section of sky that he pieces together, branch by branch, building a forever of light, his work is all disassembly, in deafening noise, today from a cup at the end of a boom that bounces a little, swinging this way and that as if trying to catch water dripping out of a ceiling. He’s taking apart, from the top down, a sick sixty-foot ash, first cutting away its outer parts, feather-light as they fall, each reaching as if to high-five the branches below, a helper picking them up by their ends and dragging them to a big gluttonous chipper that drags them in, screaming and flailing. Bobbing lower and lower, the man in the cup, his saw buzzing, leans out to unstack the heavy spools of the trunk, reaching to tip them away to drop with an emphatic thunk on the litter of twigs and dead leaves on the lawn, the cup bouncing lower and lower, spool after spool, the boom telescoping back into itself and then finding its place on top of the truck, as now he climbs out, lifting one leg then the other, both whole and unsevered, and backs down the steps, stretches, pulls off his gloves in the vast silence that, suddenly, everything’s part of, those few of us watching feeling as if we’ve taken too deep a breath of the sky.
Across the poems in Katie Berta’s Retribution Forthcoming (Ohio University Press, 2024), a self-aware speaker works to come to grips with her complex apprehensions about beauty, identity, virtue, and violence. In an interview with Rob McLennan, Berta affirms that “poems are a place of internal quiet in which I get to explicate what I think and feel without the invading presence of another mind.” The effect is as if Sartre’s play No Exit featured different aspects of only one character having a high-stakes, if informal, colloquy. As with that play, we keep reading for the quality of the conversation, which in Retribution is unpretentious, perceptive, often sardonically funny, and always intensely searching.
The collection opens with “Compact,” in which the speaker’s dog “locks him- self // in my boyfriend’s office while we’re gone” and “chews the clothes . . . to smithereens, maybe to keep himself from chewing / himself.” As Berta’s book explores, a person locked in her own mind without recourse to faith in something bigger has nothing to chew but the self. Berta continues, “Asking questions of god is, of course, chewing // yourself. Though, in some situations it’s practical. / Like when some part of you is / what’s caught.” This “cleaved” self reappears throughout the book, and the poems in which it appears run the gamut from everyday absurdity (“Becky! Are you trying to text a different Katie?”) to existential angst (“Batter my heart, you no-personed god”) to traumatized dissociation (“so I went off into the ceiling’s coarseness . . . until it was over”). This cleaving shows up grammatically in the recurring slide between first- and second-person pronouns that characterizes the majority of the poems.
For two decades now, John Gallaher has been quietly writing some of the most pleasurable and compelling poetry in the United States, including the books The Little Book of Guesses (Four Way Books, 2007), In a Landscape (BOA, 2014), and Brand New Spacesuit (BOA Editions, 2020). In his newest collection, My Life in Brutalist Architecture (Four Way Books, 2024), he is at his very best.
The book begins with a quote from Ruth Graham: “There is something temptingly tidy about the idea of adoption: a family with extra love and resources meets a child in desperate need of both.” From there, through meditations on his own adoption in 1968, Gallaher goes on to show just how untidy his life and thoughts on the subject are. But there’s nothing dogmatic here, nothing sentimental. Gallaher offers no lessons for readers and comes to no solutions. Rather, in poem after poem, he explores the subject with complexity and inquisitiveness, his mind shuffling through his own experiences, memories, suppositions. A photo of himself as a baby removed from its frame for the first time reveals his birth name written on the back. What might the poet have become had he kept that name? Where would he have gone? Is the name dead, or does it belong to some other version of himself, a version he might consult for guidance? “My fear says / these people don’t love me,” Gallaher writes. “They adopted me by mistake.” In poem after poem, the poet offers readers not just a meditation on the complexities of adoption, but on the variations of the idea of the self, on the slipperiness of identity, personality, and all our passages through years. “What,” he asks at one point, “does the self consist of? // The theme is time. The theme is unspooling.”
Jaswinder Bolina’s English as a Second Language and Other Poems (Copper Canyon, 2024) is a delightful political treatise for our troubled world. This poet’s gifts are many. In a particularly brilliant move, Bolina sequences the book’s poems in two ways, with a table of contents both at the beginning and the end. You can read from the perspective of the poet’s childhood to adulthood and parenthood, or from present perspective of parenthood looking backward to childhood. The nuances displayed are tremendous. The foreshadowing works in either order. And both the beginning and ending poems (no matter which way you read) involve the speaker eating hotdogs—in London or Chicago.
In If I Could Give You a Line (University of Akron Press, 2023), Carrie Oeding further develops the voice-driven associational thinking that characterizes her first collection, Our List of Solutions (42 Miles Press, 2011), while recontextualizing and transcending its concerns. The earlier poems are richly populated with neighbors, lovers, friends, and peers as their speaker navigates the fraught social dynamics of early adulthood, repeatedly referencing music/dance as she struggles to map out a workable configuration of intimacies and distances. Primary emotions include status-anxiety and longing—sexual/romantic, and even ontological. In the poem “Joy,” Oeding writes “And if everything is aspiring to be music— / the making and the dancing and the joying, / if they are all dying to be music, why does music just get to be music?” If I Could Give You a Line is continuous with that project in terms of Oeding’s fascination with space and distance; however, in the new collection, she explores relationships (both intimate ones with her partner and her daughter and intellectual/aesthetic ones with the work of a number of artists), questioning the nature of place itself. The book comes across as a series of dance-like thought experiments about motion in poems such as “The Making of Things,” in which Oeding, responding to Richard Long’s conceptual land sculpture, “A Line Made by Walking,” uses a strategy of negation to interrogate a variety of understandings of the line:
Up from the barren, parched earth, a statue grows. A man, for a woman is too malleable to be immortalized in stone. -from The Moonflowers
The moonflower—named so because it blooms only at night—collects its aroma throughout the day, and as it blooms, it spreads an intense jasmine-like fragrance. In Abigail Rose-Marie’s debut novel The Moonflowers (Lake Union Publishing, 2024), the flower is not just a symbol of beauty and enchantment, but also a symbol of freedom, of the “malleable” woman-figure adapting to its conditions and finding ways to bloom even in extreme circumstances.
The Moonflowers is framed as a mystery novel set in a small Appalachian town where secrets have been carried through generations—the secret behind the death of celebrated hero Benjamin Costello; the secret behind the women who have gone missing during the years leading up to Benjamin’s death; and the secret of why the narrator, Tig (Antigone) Costello, left behind a burgeoning career at the Art Institute of Chicago. The book begins with Tig taking up the project to learn more about her grandfather Benjamin and to use her research to create a painting in memoriam. As she reaches the small, dusty town, it’s quite apparent that Darren, Kentucky, is almost in ruins, as if all economic progress stopped after Costello’s death. Tig soon discovers that the town may have never seen any kind of prosperity to begin with, and rotting under the surface is misogyny so deep that, even in the 1997 of the novel, women are treated as second-class citizens by the townspeople.
I feel keen anticipation and anxiety when I start a book that has set itself A Challenge. Will the author pull off a magic trick or will The Challenge become a gimmick? Will it add a new dimension to the characters’ stories or will it become an intellectual exercise, A Challenge for the sake of itself?
In Daughters of the New Year (Hanover Square Press, 2022), E. M. Tran tells the story of the Vietnamese-immigrant Trung family through its women, beginning in present-day New Orleans and moving backward in time through Hurricane Katrina to the fall of Saigon, the French occupation of Vietnam, and finally to fragments of an almost mythic past. The novel is a beautiful example of when A Challenge—here, telling a story backward—can give new depths to classic themes. Tran’s exploration of legacy, family, and cultural memory is complicated and shows us how the past refuses to offer up answers even when we have imaginative access to it.
I first met Zoë Bossiere (they/she) when I visited Ander Monson’s undergraduate nonfiction course. We had an intense conversation about how to balance information and lyricism in our essays. I knew them as the managing editor of Brevity Magazine which publishes essays of writers working in the brief form. Many of these essays lean toward the lyrical side, like Brenda Miller’s “Swerve,” which begins with one very grounded scene but then spins out to include a litany of mini-scenes whose sonic and imagistic connections blow the top of one’s head off. Bossiere also recently edited and published, with Erica Trabold, The Lyric Essay as Resistance: Truth from the Margins (Wayne State University Press, 2023) which draws from a broad group of writers to argue that the lyric is indeed a powerful persuasive force for change.
So, I was surprised when I started to read Cactus Country (Abrams Press, 2024).On a flight to Minneapolis, as I turned page after page like the book was on fire, I thought, This book is the most narrative memoir I have ever read. I am prone to exaggeration. I know of many memoirs that move by story more than association, but CactusCountryholds tightly onto narrative and doesn’t let go. And, neither could I, as I fell in love with the author’s rendering of place and of their allegiance to how the narrator’s body moved through that place.