Has this happened to you
By Rebecca Foust
Selected as winner of the 2023 New Ohio Review Poetry Contest by Denise Duhamel
Featured Art by Claire Bateman
You realize you know something
you didn’t know you knew,
like in what modern-day country
lie the ruins
of ancient Troy, or the name of the boy
Achilles loved, or the Trojan
who speared him, or the former Beatle
or first drummer for The Stones
or your sister’s first flame, who drank
milk straight from the carton,
whose name she now—60 years later
& brain-wiped by ALZ—
cannot herself recall. He was a strapping,
young crewcut man, who came
to court my sister & then left with her more
winsome twin—our other sister
now in an ICU after swallowing a full vial
of Tylenol. I knew
before it happened, it would happen like this
& nothing to be done.
There is foresight, & then, its impotence.
Anyway, it was Pat Nicodemus
who courted my sister, not to be confused
with Patroclus, Hector,
Pete Best or Tony Chapman, each doomed
in their way as my sisters are,
as we all are doomed, but each name still
a small ping of pleasure
when I blurt it out, surprising everyone,
especially me, still playing
the game. In the days before Google,
it felt powerful & oracular,
what we didn’t know we knew welling up
on our tongues,
coursing its way out & through, like the body
of a baby after the head is born.
Aristotle demanded surprise & recognition
from good writing,
plus pity & horror, much of which presumes
foreknowledge,
for a time occluded but still operating behind
the scene, unseen,
as a kind of sixth sense, or is it non-sense,
like when you know
without knowing your husband is cheating
again, or what sometimes
pulls your pen across the page like automatic
writing, or your cribbage peg home
ahead of the rest when you’ve all along been,
with immense concentration,
wondering did I close those car windows?
now that you’re hearing rain.
How unknown are we to ourselves, unreadable
code in the end. I never thought
that after nine years of drought it would rain
like the Amazon inside my car,
nor that one sister would wind up living every
hour of every day in the same
Bonanza rerun, nor another so enwombed
in despair, nor that I’d be the one
to leave my marriage after four decades of fear
my husband would leave,
but somehow, I was not surprised
that my car, a sauna inside,
would continue to run, even after I found
that floormat profusion
of mushroom, each pink cup turned up
& open like a wish
or a tiny satellite dish set to receive.
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