Grief in the Potting Shed
By Allisa Cherry
Featured Art: “Lily, Out of Breath” by Mallory Stowe
I startle a deer mouse
squirreling straw into a pile of burlap.
It freezes then returns to its instinctive labor
caring for its litter of pups–still deaf and blind.
Each as small and pink as a baby’s toe.
How miniscule my reflection must be,
turned upside-down in the gloss of its dark eye.
At the beginning of the war in Ukraine
a woman approached a Russian soldier,
gave him a handful of seeds,
and told him to carry them in his pocket
so when he died on Ukrainian soil
at least sunflowers would grow where he fell.
At least. No matter how great the devastation,
it requires a small act of resistance for scale.
Consider those moments Roland Hayes
stood in a resolute silence while members
of the Nazi party booed and cursed
his blackness. Alone under a spotlight on stage
in a concert hall buzzing with hatred.
And still his throat softened
and a song—Du Bist die Ruh—rose
from his throat until every fascist heart
had been stroked by the finger of its beauty.
But I have never been brave.
I’ve only ever waited out the clock
in those moments when I was afraid.
So, when my older sister asked me
—the apostate daughter—to help her
dress my mother’s dead body
in her temple robes, tie the fig leaf apron,
fasten her bonnet and veil, I couldn’t
take in the tenderness of her heresy
all at once. Instead, I narrowed my focus
to the industry of my fingers,
half expecting them to snap into flames
as I pushed each pearl button
through its braided hoop.
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